love yourself

Why I Created “The Levels of Love”

Welcome to my relationship guidance website, “The Levels of Love.” My name is The Stormy Poet. I am the author of two published anthologies, “Product of the Storm” and “A Pale Face for a Collar: Testimonials of an Office Rat,” and of my literary art, independent news, lifestyle guidance and social commentary site, (for the past 4 years. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by today.


Who is to blame for 42% of black women in the U.S. having been divorced at least once in their livesIs that the fault of the black man or the black woman?  Is it either?

❤Are white women considered by men to be more submissive and feminine to men than black women? 

❤Why does it seem like so many black men are choosing to be with white women instead of dating inside their own racial group?

❤Are white men more intellectual, polite, well-spoken, respectful, and less threatening to women than black men?

❤If you’re a white woman who only dates black men, is it because the physical attributes of black men are your preference in regards to what you’re attracted to, or are you just fetishizing black men?  And, if you’re in a relationship with a black man, do you fully know about and accept what the reality and the experience of living in America that is attached to his blackness?

❤If you’re a black man who is not attracted to black women, is it because you feel black women are less feminine, more combative, overbearing, less emotionally stable, and less submissive than non-black women?  If so, what are you basing that assessment of black women on?  Do you have any evidence to support that they are exhibiting these qualities more than women who belong to other ethnic groups?

❤If you are black and are in a relationship with a non-black person, do you feel like your partner genuinely wants to understand what systematic white supremacy is and how it affects you and those who look like you, and like they would join you in your efforts to combat it?  If they aren’t, can you truly say that they genuinely love you?

❤If you’re friends with mostly white people, on a regular basis, do you challenge them to study books and media that gives an honest depiction of the affliction, damage, and the oppressive nature institutionalized racism has unleashed on American Natives of African Descent specifically for hundreds of years in America?  Are you even familiar with what factually-based information to point them to?  How educated are you on the topic, yourself?  And, if your white friends aren’t committed to understanding and combating systematic racism, could you still remain friends with them? 

❤If you’re a black person seeking to be in a relationship with another black person, are you willing to accept that person as they are, recognizing they are victims of systematic white supremacy?  And, due to the psychological, economic, and physical damage system has done to black men and women, are you willing to accept that there will be a certain amount of brokenness that comes attached to that person’s blackness?  Do you recognize your own brokenness?  Have you accepted it, and have you come to terms with it?

❤Are black men more misogynistic than white men?  Who controls the media with which they received their misogynistic message from?

❤If you’re a woman who avoids dating black men, whether it be consciously or unconsciously, what kind of messages about the character of black men have you received that have put you off on entertaining a romantic situation with them?  Also, where did you receive those messages from?  Do you base your assessment of black men collectively off of a few experiences you’ve had with them, and, if so, would say that is that fair?  Are black men even present in the spaces you typically dwell in while carrying out your day?

❤When it comes to much of the dysfunction taking place in the black community, do you blame black people for that dysfunction, or do you blame systematic white supremacy for creating the kind of climate that promotes and fuels that very dysfunction?


🖤I wanted to start off explaining the goal of this site by asking these questions because, honestly, I believe these are the kind people are afraid to ask when we’re talking about the different challenges modern-day relationships face.  You, more than likely, haven’t heard those honest and tough questions in much of the “relationship goals” rhetoric you see being passed around popular media these days.

🖤There is a slew of relationship gurus, dating coaches, and pick-up artists out here who have plenty to say about how to attract and how to hold on to Mr. and Mrs. Right or how to bang a bunch of women.  And, while some–very few–of those individuals have good intentions, a lot of them are also providing advice out of the spirit of just wanting a bunch of YouTube hits (telling people what they want to hear for attention), of bitterness they’ve gained through their own past-failed relationships, and of ignorance in not having a sufficient understanding of how women and men see the world differently. 

🖤For the longest, I would give relationship advice to my family and peers, founded in the knowledge base I’d built up for years formed out of the relationship patterns I’ve studied, my own past relationship successes and failures, and literature I’d examined centered around the topic.  So, I figured I mine as well create a create my blog and write books about what I knew, so could share insight about specific relationship challenges I felt a lot of relationship “gurus” weren’t speaking on–ones who either didn’t know enough about to speak or who were avoiding doing so for the sake of pacifying a certain audience.  

🖤In my second published book, A Pale Face for a Collar: Testimonials of an Office Rat,” there is a chapter I entitled “When It Comes to the Men and the Women…” where I broke down how men and women see the world through completely different lenses and about why seeing things differently is a good thing.  Just as importantly, I touched on what many who give relationship advice don’t adequately go in-depth about or just choose not to speak about at all.  Though I covered a lot in that chapter, I felt I still had so much to say on the topic.  So, in part, that chapter inspired this blog.

🖤We definitely need to discuss the different issues relationships face in the spirit of men and women genuinely wanting to gain a deeper understanding of each other’s divine uniqueness.  But, while living in this society, we can’t talk about relationships without talking about how systematic racism has negatively affected the sanctity of then as a whole.

🖤Although my site,, covers a variety of topics, I felt that the act of closely examining the dynamic that systematic white supremacy and cultural misogyny play in our relationships (romantic, family, friend, business) and that breaking down what that means in terms of how we intimately interact with each other was going to require a page of its own, in order to properly and effectively distribute the amount of related content.

🖤I created this website to inform the masses out of love…about how to successfully love, even if that means informing the audience out of tough love (telling you what you don’t want to hear if I believe it is for your own good). 

🖤This page wasn’t created to bash men (especially black men who have to see heterosexuality demonized relentlessly). 

🖤This page wasn’t created to put the males nor the females on any kind of pedestal or to kiss any group’s ass just so I can get a bunch of website and YouTube hits.

🖤It didn’t create it to give people advice they’ll just use to reinforce their misguidingly, self-righteous opinions.  This page was not created for the sake of emotional exchanges.  We’re here to talk like adults.  

🖤Unlike many of the people who give relationship advice, I didn’t want to do so coming from a holier-than-thou disposition, because Heaven knows I’ve had my own relationship failures and downfalls.  Most of us have, and I want to show the people what I’ve learned from those mistakes and poor choices and that they can learn from their own, so that they don’t repeat them. 

🖤I don’t want to give the people guidance in their relationships while pretending that racism is something we don’t have to factor in and contend with, whether we want to accept that or not.

🖤This isn’t a page for people to argue, bicker, or tear each other down.  This is a place for men and women to learn how to recognize their own brokenness, how to remedy it, and how we both, as divine beings, can build with one another.

🖤This is a space where, when we talk about the challenges relationships face, we have discussions based on data, context, personal accounts we’ve learned, and a genuine desire to understand each other better.  We don’t deal in emotional back and forths on here.

🖤In this space, we’re here to understand love…true love–every level of it.

🖤What level of love do you want to experience?

🖤My name is The Stormy Poet, and I look forward to exploring The Levels of Love with each and all of you.